February 2010
174 posts
“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”
– George Sand
i am so tempted to buy Spoon’s new album on itunes, but i know i would kick myself later. ugh.
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January 2010
261 posts
waste of time.
Choose one artist/band, then answer the questions using their songs. Pick your artist: Bright Eyes
Are you a male or female: Laura Laurent
Describe yourself: When The Curious Girl Realizes She Is Under Glass
How do you feel: The Center Of The World
Describe where you currently live: Down In A Rabbit Hole
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Road To Joy
Your favourite form of...
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing...”
– Dale Carnegie
“That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying...”
– Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes)
“Pleasure is the only thing one should live for. Nothing ages like happiness.”
– Oscar Wilde <33
“Fear is not what’s important, it’s how you deal with it. It would be like asking...”
– James Nachtwey
“Jezebel” Iron & Wine
“Why not seize the pleasure at once, how often is happiness destroyed by...”
– Jane Austen
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing....”
– Mark Twain
“Skeletons” Yeah Yeah Yeahs
thank you...
and i still don’t know how to feel.
know what bothers me?
WINKY FACES. oh my god, are you flirting with me via electronic message or are you trying to show that you’re twitching? cause i KNOW you’re not flirting with me right?
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“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than...”
– Mark Twain
“See, I’m no king; I wear no crown. But desperate times seem over now. But still...”
– Dallas Green
when i breathe in, i can feel my breath scrape the bottom of my lungs. it burns like fire.
i was going to read it again, but i just can’t. i can’t do it. i don’t have nearly enough tears left in me.
i’m sorry. i’m so, so, so sorry. there is nothing i could say or do to make it all go away.
i thought about my priorities, and i don’t have them all sorted yet, but your happiness is close to the top. all i want is for you to be happy.
“I’d prefer to be remembered as a smiling face, not this fucking wreck that’s...”
– Bright Eyes
i feel ugly, and empty. i bet my insides are ugly. i wonder if they are empty as well..? if they weren’t hurting so badly, i would swear i have none.
i still have so much to do. please, please don’t make me have to deal with anymore shit.
and i’m crying again..
“Global consciousness is not an objective belief that can be taught to anybody...”
– Ken Wilber (why can’t i get this to come through in my newspaper story? i am so screwed.)
a kid in my class made fun of me yesterday. yeah, so i have pimples on my face right now. and yeah, that’s really funny, so why don’t you just go ahead and point it out to the whole class? and it is kind of funny in a way, because even with everything else going on, that still gets to me.
i never had courage to begin with. i’ve never had any ever. but i have ALWAYS been quiet. that’s all most people know about me. so was i doomed from the start?
i feel like the biggest damn loser.
i need time, and strength, and simplicity. i need to sort out my priorities and figure out what’s important in my life. this blog is definitely not on the list.
i am in denial with myself. that’s a fact. i’m really not very self-sufficient at all, no matter how desperately i want to be. in my definition, self-sufficiency was synonymous to strength. until now.
i don’t know how to get help from people.. am i just supposed to ask? and if so, ask for what? a shoulder to cry on? an ear to whisper in to? i miss my sisters. i miss my mom.
and...
i deleted that personal blog today because i have a feeling, it was not so private anymore.
and yes, shame on me.
shame on me for being dumb enough to believe that i could have a little bit of self-composure over the internet.
stupid, stupid girl.
i try so hard.
i don’t know how to feel.
so tell me, how is this supposed to feel?
